I miss my husband...

This weekend Chris is going camping with his buddies then is headed down to San Antonio for the Big 12 championship game. When all of this came up I thought to myself... "good! I'll have the house to myself. I can clean, do laundry, watch girly movies and have some good ole ME time." But, I am already missing him! I have this theory, not anything genius or anything mind you, but a theory all the same. It is much easier to be the leaver then the leftee. I mean, are you with me girls or are you with me?! It's much more fun to head out of town for a girls weekend or to see the folks, but when I'm the one left home.... So, there you have it. I am a needy, co-dependant wife. Or at least tonight I am.

Huh?

Part of my job is to give in services to hospitals, nursing homes and sometimes doctors. Today, was my first ever in service. I worked all day yesterday preparing handouts for the nurses, getting together research and figuring out what I was going to say. The subject of my in-service was "Assisting confused, disoriented and non-verbal patients". Last night, while I was going over my material, I asked Chris for a few tips on public speaking. It has been so long since I got up in front of a group and talked. He looked at me and said "just get up and act really confused". All I could say was "huh?"

Tonight!

Tonight.... I am wishing that it was chilly outside instead of warm and summery feeling.
Tonight.... I made white chili that was actually more of a soup. It was still good, but not really a chili at all.
Tonight.... There is a lot of hollering and yelling in my house due to the Oklahoma Sooners taking on Texas Tech. Boomer Sooner!
Tonight... I am doing laundry. Blah. I also accidentally shrunk one of my favorite shirts. I didn't realize it was in that load. I'm pretty bummed about that one.
Tonight... I am contemplating buying two pairs of shoes tomorrow after church. Can I really wear red flats enough to warrant that purchase? You tell me.
Tonight...I am brainstorming how to pull of my thirty dollar a person Christmas budget. Any creative ideas?
Tonight... I am considering cutting my hair. I just don't think long hair is in my future.
Tonight... I am looking at my husband and wondering how I got so lucky.
Tonight... I am missing my mom. She and my Dad are still in Europe and should be back in a few days. It's been like 8 days since I've talked to her. I miss that lady!
Tonight... I am so thankful to for my life.

Holding on for dear life

"Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Jesus Christ

I have been thinking a lot about what this means lately. About a year in a half ago, my husband and I were a part of a church restart in Brownwood. Chris and I along with a couple of friends completely overhauled the church building. We primed and painted every wall inside and out of that building. There was also the pulling up of the carpet, scraping the glue off the floor from the carpet and then staining the floor. Back breaking work to say the least. In the beginning, I was all for starting the church, but so much the manual labor thing. You'd think that starting a church would be happiest time of your life. Not for me. I was miserable. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was holding on for dear life. What was that life exactly? Certainly not one where I was joyful about helping people or bringing people to the Lord. Not a life where my husband needed for his wife to encourage him and share with him. Not a life that glorified God at all. So, after a lot of tears and a lot of asking forgiveness from God I let go. I let go of "my life".
I'm currently in the middle of reading "The Jesus I Never Knew" by Phillip Yancey and found Jesus's command again. Is God trying to remind me of something? I think so.