It's been raining all morning. There is something so spiritual about the rain. Watching the rain drops stream down the window makes me feel calm and safe inside my little office. It could be cold and windy with torential rain, but I am inside. Warm, dry and safe. I think it's important to feel safe every once in a while. Like when I was a little girl and I was scared of the thunder storm and I knew my mom was just a "call down the hall" away. I just had to give out a little yelp of " MOM!" and she was shuffeling down the hallway in her robe and slippers. In seconds she was kissing my forehead and rubbing my back, telling me that it was all going to be ok, afterall it was just a storm. I miss those days. I miss feeling safe.
It's not like I live in a dangerous city or country. Not that you can only feel unsafe in crime ridden neighborhoods or waring nations. I just miss the feeling of "safe" and what it meant when I was a child. A life of certainty, contentment and unconditional love. Although, I am well loved, there is little certainty in my life at this time. And I feel as if I am never fully content with anything or anyone. It's probably my biggest flaw. But, for now, here in my little cubical, I am safe, warm and dry. And that's all I can ask for. For now.