Saturday, November 29, 2008

So thankful

What a wonderful "first" thanksgiving. Truly a great day. Chris and I hosted our first thanksgiving without parents on Thursday at our apartment. We had a potluck, and all of our friends brought dishes that were staples in their homes. I was responsible for the turkey, stuffing, and gravy. My sister drove from Nebraska and joined us, which was also really great. We've not spent much time together and not really as close as we used to be, so it was fun spending so much time with her. It wore me out a little, but I think in a good way. So, back to the thanksgiving festivities. I love hosting a good party. I just love being a hostess period, but especially of a successful party. And this was. Food was excellent, my apartment looked cute, Chris was charming and an excellent conversationalist and I was just so happy the entire time. Which, lets face it, I really needed. And I think all of the guests had a really great time too!

So, even though this is a tiny bit belated here's what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for and I know this goes without saying, but I'm still gonna say it. My incredibly loving husband, Chris. Not only has he been so patient with my bi-polar emotions lately, but just always holding us together. Plus, he's really cute.
I'm thankful for the new friends we've made in Colorado. Especially, my sweet friend Mary. I'm not sure Chris and I would have survived this first month and a half, if it wasn't for her and her husband Chad.
I am so thankful for my faithful friends that have been praying for us and encouraging me this whole time.
I'm thankful for my family of course, they are so crazy, but I just love 'em.
I'm thankful for my job, it's not the job I always want to have, but I'm glad to have one.
I'm thankful for the opportunity to have this experience. I know that everyday God is strengthening me for my new church and all the new people that I will meet.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Culture Shock

Yeah, culture shock. I think that's my deal. I thought about it on the way to work this week. But, let me just tell you what happened that got me thinking about my culture shock.

It was Thursday morning about 7 am, I planned on going to Starbucks for a treat that morning, because, well I deserved it. I watched the news the night before and knew that there was a chance of snow, ice and rain. Well we had snow last Friday and I worked though all that fine. I thought the ice would be no problem. But, I was wrong. I walked out the door and immediately noticed there was ice on the 2 flights of stairs leading me down from my apartment. So, I say to myself, ok easy does it. You don't want to fall. And that's exactly what happened. A big fall down about 6 or 7 stairs. Heels, white coat and all. I just sat there and cried. But not for too long, because I still had to go to work and make it to the Bucks. That's when I saw my car covered in ice. That was a chore in and of itself. After crying and chisleing my car out of the ice, I had no time to go get coffee. So, I cried. And I cried some more. Yup, culture shock.

I guess it didn't occur to me before. I mean, I grew up in a big city, I've driven in traffic before. I've lived away from my family since I graduated college and I've had jobs that I haven't loved. It just hasn't been so extreme as it is now. Traffic every morning and evening. Sometimes it takes me an hour and a half to work or home when it should take me 30 minutes. The snow and ice is all very new to me. Thinking about snowboots from the house to the car from the car to my job is a super new concept to me. And living so far from our friends and family is also a new feeling. No quick weekend trips anymore.

So, I have self diagnosed myslef with culture shock. And it feels good to know that there's nothing really wrong with me. I really am just adjusting to everything new all at once.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Truth

Yeah, here's the deal. I am really not a happy camper these days. Or really since we've been here in Denver. In fact, I've never felt more of a mix of emotions. They range between, this is a cool city and I'm glad we're here to God's work to I want to go home. Today.

And here's why.

I really, truly, deep down in my heart, felt like this was going to be an easy transition. I thought, it would be about 2 weeks, I'd find a job that I loved and Chris would too. I thought we find some friends, and we'd be on our way to getting Refuge Community Church on the road. Boy was I wrong. The reality is that I am working at a job that I hate. And I do mean hate. Chris has yet to find a job and becomes increasingly more and more discouraged every day. The other side of this is that is really is getting to me is God. Yeah, God. When we were in Waco and getting ready to move, I saw and felt God doing amazing and crazy acts of providence. He helped us sell all of our furniture, paid our credit card ( yes He really did that) and fit all of our worldly belongs into our cars. (Which still kinda amazes me. Because there was A LOT.)And that was just a few things. But now, I feel like He has abandoned us. I mean we are very much alone in all this. I mean, no really knows how we feel in all this. None of my family or friends have ever moved to another state to start a church with people that haven't even come yet.I know that people might know people that have done this sort of thing, but Chris and I don't. So, when people say, "well at least you have a job" or "I just have to remember that God's plan is different then ours." that may be true, but it's not comforting. And it doesn't make feel like I'm lucky or that all the waiting and feeling alone that I've done feel any easier. It makes me sad and just kinda mad. Not just mad for me, but for Chris too. And for anyone that might be moving here to do this and might have to go through this too. I am sad and I feel alone. I feel burdened and helpless. And I keep thinking God is going to come and rescue me, rescue us from this awfulness, but so far nothing. I am tired of crying out to the heavens and waiting to hear that comforting voice that I've heard so many times before, because all I just hear a lot of static.
I'm sorry that I've been lying to all of you and saying that Colorado is great and we love it here. Because I don't feel that way. I feel alone and abandoned. And no one can fix it.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

What I've been thinkin about this week...

Like the title of my blog states, this is what I've been thinking about this week.

1. Sales People are so crazy and annoying. I say that, because I've been around them all week and I'm sick of them. Who can talk the most, answer the most questions, volunteer for the most role-play. Gag. We get it. You're an extrovert and you like to talk. That doesn't mean you're good at sales.
2. Why or why do I have a lazy eye in my Colorado drivers license?! Yep. A lazy eye. I can't even take a new picture until 2013. That's such a long time to hang on to a lazy eye.
3. Turduckin. Ever heard of it? I hadn't until this week when they were talking about it on the radio. It's a crazy mix of turkey, duck and chicken. Not sure to be grossed out or order one for thanksgiving. Your thoughts?
4. I love this time of year. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas time. I'm especially excited about the new traditions Chris and I will be creating this year.
5. I love Denver but HATE the traffic! Thirty minutes on my way to work, an hour on the way home. It's horrid.
6. I can't wait for Free Day at the Denver Zoo tomorrow. I love the zoo. And I love Free anything. So, what could be better? I will be taking pictures.
7. I love when Chris makes dinner. Enough said.
8. I wish I worked at "The Office". I'd like to hang with Stanley, Jim, Dwight, Angela, Pam and Micheal Scott. How do I get that job?
9. I made a new friend at work. Eileen. She's great. I think we could be good friends down the road. Although, she's thinking about quiting. I keep thinking, "What am I going to do without her?" But, I don't blame her.
10. I am tired. Not working for a whole month and then suddenly getting up at 6 am, has not been an easy adjustment for me.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween in Denver is pretty cool...

Last night we (Chris and I) went downtown with our friends Chad and Mary. We were going to go to a haunted house, but decided against it at the last minute. Those things are pricey! It was a good time! Dinner at a Mongolian grill and then dessert at a gilato joint. As we were just kinda wandering around, Mary and I walked into a cute shoe store. When we got our, Chris and Chad informed us that we missed the biggest craziest pillow fight. Intrigued we walked to see what was going on. And they were right. Apparently, every year a huge group of people our age, dress up in costumes for Halloween and hold a huge pillow fight in the middle of an intersection downtown. And it was awesome! We must have stayed about 30 minutes or more just watching the crazyness. Here is a video of last years pillow fight.